Hi Babes! Its Fridayy!!
It’s been the longest week of my life. Or it just seems like it. But I’m pretty sure it was the longest one. We are pretty much settled into our new apartment now, it’s been quite a whirlwind getting there so quickly. Now I’m just emptying my life savings out for a ridiculous number of command hooks and strips to decorate with because I cannot stand naked walls. I’m excited to see how it all comes together, we have clothes to find spots for and a few more boxes lying in the kitchen to empty but otherwise seem to have found spots for everything.
I’m trying to adjust to life as the homemaker and part time worker and full time Mom, and boy, it is a lot of work. I see why the stress of running a household can drive people apart. Thankfully, my overemotional reactions are balanced out and soothed easily by Matthew’s calm, go-with-the-flow demeanor. He’s been great, and more than understanding (how’d I get this lucky??). While he does all he can though, I still have struggled a bit with the weight of all the responsibilities. Maybe it’s the Birth Order Theory at play here..I’m the first born and I feel that it’s essential to follow rules and stay ahead and to not only meet, but exceed expectations. I’m not laid back and chill like Matthew, I’m not as patient and everything I do is usually tinted with a little urgency. I take on a lot more than I should. Basically I stress myself out unnecessarily.
While I have done okay with some supporters around me, I’ve had to put my gym time in the backseat which has been difficult for me. I love boxing, I love fitness and working out, but sometimes you have to put those things aside temporarily to accomplish other important tasks for your family. My home boxing gym had a great opportunity to move last spring to a new location and they took it, and I’m super happy that they have a beautiful facility and lots of exciting new opportunities. On the down side-they are 25 minutes away from where I live and work and having my little guy that makes it really difficult for me to get out there to train. I miss my coaches and the grit of their training terribly, but I do try my best to get there once a week. Soon enough I’ll settle in and begin to train for real once again, but for now I’m substituting as much as possible with great workouts with my training partner Craig and hit and miss sessions on my own.
Last night was one of those hit and miss instances. I’ve been wanting to try Bikram Hot Yoga for some time now, and I finally did. It was great! The place smelled a little funny and definitely had that hippie vibe going on, but it was homey and all the people I met were helpful and friendly. I was a little nervous but I surprised myself with both my flexibility and balance. I did start sweating a lot about a half hour in (obviously), and left soaked which was rewarding (I am keeping this hot yoga in mind for later training camps…way more relaxing than the sauna).
Anyway…I didn’t start writing this to rave about Hot Yoga, even though it did really feel good and challenged me and even helped me de-stress and clear my head. I would recommend it, as it helped my lower back and made me feel loosened up. I wrote this because it helped me over a huge hurdle I’ve been struggling with my whole adult life. You guys, I worked out in just a sports bra and my leggings. This may be no big deal to you, but for real..this is huge for me. I could hardly do this at my fight weight of 135-140. Now I’m 10lb up and I did it. Granted, the other women around me in the class also did it (they were a free spirited bunch, they were awesome!) which gave me huge courage, but I have been so self conscious about my belly because of the extra 10lb I never imagined I’d do that. I carry my weight in my lower belly and in my thighs, but emphasis on the belly. Mirrors all around, I took off my shirt and stepped out in my sports bra and killed it. To be fair the other women there were all a little older, with varying body types, but to my surprise I looked like one of the most toned.
My shoulders and arms are always a little larger than other women’s, but that’s because I constantly do shoulders and chest and arms for boxing. So when I saw that difference in my shape I wasn’t really phased, but my belly! I haven’t loved myself well these last few weeks! I had abs all day (more upper than lower lol) but I just didn’t see past all the other little issues I come up with. I was really happy with my surprised appearance and I went home with my heart full and head cleared.
We all need moments like that. Especially us girls. We pull ourselves down so low over stupid little flaws (and half of them are made up!) that we totally miss the beauty sitting right there in our face. I’m really proud of myself for doing that. I hope you find a moment like that for yourself this weekend too. Remember to slow down and take a 90 minute hot yoga break or whatever fits your fancy in the middle of the chaos too.
Until next time!